Slow but sure

Well I once again apologize for the delay in updating.  Things here are moving along.  I feel fine, and continue to lose weight.  I'm not losing as quickly as I thought I would.  I am currently waiting to enter "ONE"derland.  Last night the scale said 200.5 lbs.  so I haven't lost a lot since I last posted.  I went weeks without losing anything, and then suddenly I'd see a 4 or 6 lb. loss, it's strange.  I just try to keep my protein in and continue to work on my water intake.  I can get about 1 1/2 bottles down a day at this point which is HUGE compared to the beginning!

I still drink my premier protein for breakfast, and then usually have a small piece of fish or chicken for lunch, or some cottage cheese with pears or peaches for lunch.  Dinner varies, but I try to make sure whatever I eat, that it is tasty!  I have found that I'm not hungry most of the time at all!  I really am learning finally how to understand the difference between head hunger and actual physical hunger.  This is wonderful for me, because I hear others talk about it at group and I've been waiting to experience it myself.. so I'm happy to be learning more along this journey. 

We went to Disneyland a few weeks ago.  It was nice to walk around easier, and get on the rides easier without worrying if I would fit!  Honestly... c'mon people... I used to always ask before getting in lines at amusement parks if I would fit on the ride.  We have all been there when someone has been asked to get off, and I never wanted it to be me, so I just never even tried.  When the older kids were younger, I would just stand and wait and watch them have fun all day with their dad.  Sometimes, I would really want to go, so as I said, I would ask the workers if they thought I would fit before getting in line.  I was never once told "no" and I never once didn't fit, but oh, I worried, A LOT!  I will never forget the first trip we took to Disneyland and we went on splash mountain.  Well, all of you know that you are lucky enough to have a camera flash in your face as you are headed down in the "splash" part of the mountain.  After you get of the ride, and run over to look at the screens to see how your picture turned out, and decide if you want to purchase it.. so exciting, right?  Well not if you or your children were sitting behind me!  You wouldn't be able to see anything but an arm... which is what happened to my poor Isabel.  if we didn't see that arm we never would have even known she was there.  It was so sad, and depressing, and embarrassing for me.  After that, I never rode in any seat other than the very back.  I don't know if I will ever forget that picture.  Well, this time was much different.  Do you know that I never even tried to get on the teacups with Isabel because I didn't think I would fit?  That poor girl never got to ride those teacups until this year when we all fit just fine!  I'm so grateful for the new "life" I am learning to live.

We also spent some time in San Diego since I last posted.  Below is the first picture I've had taken by strangers that I'm not embarrassed to show.  It's an amazing feeling to feel that even though I am still very overweight, I'm so much more accepted in society.  We had so much fun that weekend, and did lots and lots of walking!

I have learned to stay away from sugar.  COMPLETELY!  It's just not a good idea, we don't need it, and quite frankly, my body hates it!  My dear husband purchased some "no sugar added" Dreyer's ice cream for me hoping that I could eat it.  Well, of course, I had to try it (for his sake, right?!).  Well, that didn't go well!  AT ALL!  Don't get me wrong, it tasted wonderful, but within minutes I felt miserable, and could not keep my eyes open!  It's one of the strangest sensations, but honestly... I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I was miserable, and asleep.  Well, if that wasn't my lesson learned, just a few nights ago I had a small, VERY small handful of dry Lucky Charms cereal... same consequences.  So, needless to say, no more sugar for me!  It's just not worth it!

I try to stick with just protein for the most part.  The fruit that I can eat helps me get some carbs in.  I was excited to find Fiber One cottage cheese this week.  I have had some twice, the taste is a bit different, but I think worth it for me because I need that extra fiber :)

Hair loss - it is real, and it is drastic.  It is much more than I thought it would be, and I continue to lose every day.  It started getting really bad about a month ago, and hasn't slowed down.  My hair is VERY thin.  Oh well!  Just one of those things.  It will grow back!

I am still not using any of my other medications for my RA or Fibro.  I have learned that the Enbrel injections hurt MUCH worse now that there isn't as much fat in the top of my thighs!  The other medication is Methotrexate which caused hair loss... well we all know I don't need help with that right now.. so no thanks! 

I'm very happy with the decision I made to do this, and I'm pleased with my journey so far.  I look forward to living more life, and hope that all of you feel the same.  There is so much out there for us!!

Here are a few pictures.....obviously I wasn't too happy he was taking this first one...also pictured here was me on the mall train with Brooklyn... I've NEVER been on that train... I was amazed I got on.. but I did, and look at how happy she was to have me there!  So worth it :)

Surprising "skinny" facts

I have discovered a few things that have really amazed me lately -

1- I don't have eyeliner below my eyes anymore.  I credit this to not having such a chubby face.... my cheeks don't shove up so far to leave that mark below where it should be!

2- For the same reason - I don't have as much "sleep" in my eyes anymore.  Ever!  It's crazy!

3 - Knees are painful!  I don't know if all of you "skinny" people have this problem, but when I try to sleep on my side at night, my bony knees touch eachother and it hurts!  Ouch!  I have to cross my leg over and onto the bed to avoid the pain.  Weird.


Those are just a few of the little things I have noticed lately.  It's a little odd.  On the fun side, you wouldn't believe what I did for the first time in at least 15 years! ..... listen up....

There I was, at Kern Radiology for a CT Scan on my back (from accident last year).  They made sure I had filled out all the paperwork properly, then started to show me to the dressing room.  I am always prepared for this... I always ask for 2 gowns... one for the front, and one for the back.  Those of you who may not have weight issues may not be aware, but you see, those of us who are bigger know that one gown will not cover all of us.  We always need 2, one to put on like they ask, then the other, like a "robe" to cover our backside.  Well, that was what I was waiting for the other day.  But what happened was absolute insanity.... she handed me a pair of pants!  WHAT???!!! Pants?  who knew?!  Well, she did.  She gave me the pants, and one gown.  hmmmmm I thought about saying something, but I thought, well, I'll try it, I guess you never know... and I sure didn't know.  They fit!  They slipped on easily, and I even had to tie the waist!  Craziness!!  It was wonderful.  Strange still, yes.  But wonderful! 

I have not been losing huge amounts of weight, but I am down to 213-215.  I haven't been this small is so many years, I can't even remember when.  I am enjoying each step of this journey, and look forward to being able to exercise and really get myself into the kind of physical condition I need to be in to live my life to it's fullest.  I do not have any regrets at all. 

I know I have mentioned my favorite yogurt, so I am attaching a picture for all of you just in case you want to try it :) 

I hope all of you are doing well in your journeys.  Remember to find the joy and fun in all aspects of the path you are on.  Smiling and laughing burns calories!

Pants falling down!

Hi there all!  Sorry for the long delay in updating!  I actually had several posts waiting, but I'm going to try to just write it all in one. 

Things are going well.  I am able to eat scrambled egg now (almost a whole one!)  However, cottage cheese still sits so heavy, I'd rather eat other things that don't cause discomfort instead.  I have discovered the BEST thing to help me get in protein.... get ready..... make notes.... Danon Fit & Light Greek Yogurt Blends...Toasted Coconut Vanilla.  THE BEST. PERIOD.  80 calories, 7 gr sugar, and 12gr protein.  Best part you might ask??  It is so smooth!  It's like eating ice cream!!  Very very much my favorite treat right now!!!   Enjoy.. all of you!  Honestly, you must try this :)

I have finally seen more loss on the scale, and I can safely say that I am never going to see 220 again!  Along with my bracelets and ring, my pants just can't stay up any longer.  I tried, but had to keep folding over the waist band throughout the day.  Time to go ahead and get some new cheap jeans, until I get to the next size.  It's just so odd for me, and very difficult to see myself in a different light.  I was noticing the top of my thighs last night, and I could see that they are thinner, and my knee cap more noticeable.  This may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but to those of us whose knees and ankles have been buried by fat for years.... it is a big deal ;)

I have still not had the energy to begin a real exercise program yet, and my back/sciatic pain does not help in that effort.  I'm still working on getting this going.  I am concerned about all this skin and flab that I am just beginning to get, and I don't want it to look terrible. 

I have continued to attend the Kaiser support group.  It is so wonderful to be with others who are just beginning their journey, as well as those that have been successful for years.  I learn a lot each week, it helps keep me on track and positive.  I had begun to really worry about my own success.  I have seen others who sabotage themselves by not following the plan.  I just have to remember that it is up to me each day to eat what is best, and in appropriate portion sizes.  You see, the thing is, some things can be eaten,(cheese puffs) and will just "slip" down through our sleeve... and we wouldn't even get full, so you could eat lots of it.... but no no no.....if I am still working on getting all the fluids in that I need every day, I would never have room for anything like that.

Of course, part of the reason that I don't struggle as much as others is that I do still have a bit of a complication with the "blockage" issue.  I KNOW when I'm full.  Others don't have that sensation always, so they simply need to measure their portions.

So... a couple of fun things..... I no longer have 4 chins!!  only 2, and some sagging skin!  Also, as you will see below ( I know, not the best picture) but this sweater is a size large............. yes everyone... just an "L" on the tag.... no "x's" in front of it!!!  This just amazed me!  I couldn't believe it when I tried it on!  Fun Fun Fun!

Two fun things!

My bracelets were falling off of my wrist at work the other day!  I kind of wondered, because while shopping with Isabel this past week, I could actually try on "normal" sized bracelets!  Crazy!!

Also... my ring size has gone from a 10 to an 8!  So... while the scale may not show high numbers, things are going in the right direction.

Whoo hoooo!  Thankful for little things today :)

5 weeks after surgery....

Well I have made it this far... and things are going just fine.  My energy level is starting to pick up, whether it be from my medication, or finally coming out the of sedation from surgery, I'm VERY grateful! 

Food - Not really worth trying new things, usually just causes discomfort and pain.  I'm happy with my yogurt, protein drinks, and soups.  I've tried fish, even tuna just doesn't sit very well.  I've also learned that eating things like that make me super tired!  I still struggle with getting all of my fluids in, but it is getting easier.  I get 1- 1/2 bottles of water down and a protein drink... so with the melted ice and popsicles throughout the day, I get 35-40 oz.  Of course I'm supposed to get at least 64... but I'm working on it!

Exercise - Not happening right now... too tired and in too much pain from other issues (RA and Fibro)

Weight Loss - I really haven't lost more weight, the scale shows a lower number, then a higher number so I'm ignoring it.  Everyone says I'm looking great and getting smaller.. so I'll just go with that for now!

fyi - ice water goes down great, and I can drink more when it's ice cold :)

Hope things are going well for all of you and your health challenges. 

Goal for this week is to get at least 2 days of exercise in! 

Also - if anyone has a secret to firming up the "waddle" that I am developing from this weight loss?  I need some help!

Thanks for all of the support!  Talk to you all soon! Oh... and if you are coming here from my Facebook page - I don't put up a link every time I post... you might see others if you look back :)

Lunch time

Well, I thought I would let you guys see what my lunch has looked like the past two days.  We normally would not eat any type of carbs, but these are fiber select wheat thins, and when you only get protein in....you need fiber, so this helps.

First time eating out.....

Well, first of all let me say that while the "egg" soup tasted lovely, it did not go down or sit very well.  Eggs are just to "heavy" for my tummy right now.

However, I loved the Chicken and Gnocchi soup at Olive Garden.  I took Isabel there for the first time.  Of course, I made sure she had salad and breadsticks, and their fried mozzarella and calamari(which she didn't like.. hmmppfff!)  Then she tried the "tour of Italy".  While she tasted all of that, I enjoyed the creamy "broth" portion of my soup.  The waitress asked if I would like some more, with just the broth since I wasn't eating anything else.... how wonderful!  Yes, and Yumm!  She asked if I had a bypass or something, I said yes, she let me know that she had it done about 10 years ago.  Well, she looked great! 

I tried some white fish yesterday... that didn't go so well either.  I just need to stick to the lighter type stuff.  That's ok.  I am going to try some cottage cheese today though.  Ahhhh the experiments! 

I'm feeling better all the time.  Just wish I could find more hours in the day to sleep :)

Checkup appt.

Well, saw Dr. Naik yesterday.  Nothing much new.  The most recent test looks like things are continuing to improve.  We are grateful that I'm able to get most things down.  He wants to see me again in two weeks.  We will just watch for things as I proceed to try different foods (add long as I'm comfortable) it will be another few months before we decide if it's necessary for him to do any sort of revision or repair.

 

B1 (Thiamine) vitamin is VERY important!

 

Someone recommended that I try egg drop soup to help get my protein in... so I plan to do that over the weekend.  We'll see how it tastes!!

Another week down - 3 weeks post-op - Another Upper GI

Hello to everyone.  Sorry that I have waited a week... the exhaustion from the surgery and lack of nutrients is hard on me!  I will get better :)

Another week has gone by, I have tried to eat different things.  Some work, some don't.  Tuna goes down ok.  Eggs on the other hand - HECK NO!!  I feel a lot of pressure, and a bit of pain if I drink too fast, or if I try to eat things that my body is clearly not ready for (eggs).  More than pain it is just discomfort that passes in about 20 minutes or so.

I still struggle to get my 64 oz. of liquid in me.  I drink 1 premier protein from 7-9:30 in the mornings, then have some soup or yogurt at 11.  I try to drink at least 16 oz. of water before I leave work at 3:30.  Sometimes it happens, other days it does not.  I feel I'm trying my best though.

The other day I got my chewable multi-vitamins from Bariatric Advantage, so I grabbed one as Isabel (14 yr old) and I ran out the door.  Well that didn't go very well!  I got to the babysitters to pick up Brooklyn (2 yr old), and couldn't make it down the driveway without stopping the car and opening the door... all the while seriously praying I could just keep it down.  I have since decided that I will wait a while on the vitamins because my tummy just can't handle them.  I am going to look for some powdered Thiamin(B1) tonight because that is the most important one for me to get in right now.

I went to have another upper GI on Tuesday.  It continues to look better, but things are still clearly not completely normal.  We will continue to monitor.  I have an appointment with my surgeon later today.

My boss made fun of my pants at work yesterday.  She said something about them looking more like a skirt.. ha ha ha!  Well, that made me stop by the store last night to buy a pair of pants for work.  My work environment is business casual, so capris are the thing for the summer of course :) Well what an adventure that was!  I used to wear 26/28(3X) sometimes 22/24(2X)... and if I were lucky maybe a stretchy pant 18/20(1X)... (but that was years ago).  Well, I went to the racks and grabbed 5 pairs of 22 and two 20's - totally being optimistic here - and a couple of blouses.  I went to the dressing room, and much to my surprise NONE of the clothes fit.  NONE!!!  I couldn't believe it!  They were all too BIG!  WOWWWWWWW!!!  I ended up with a size 18 pants and an XL t-shirt!  My pants size no longer starts with a 2!  I'm so grateful :)

Normally, I would never post a picture, but here is one from the dressing room last night :)

First week at home....

Well, I do apologize for not keeping you up to date daily, but it's been a little crazy around my house.  On top of the "busy"ness, I have been VERY VERY tired.  I feel fine, just exhausted!

I have not yet met my 64 oz. daily liquid requirement.  I try a little harder each day, as I do not want to end up back in that hospital!  It is tough, the fluid goes down so slowly still that it's hard to get that much in.  I do still drink 1 of the Premier Protein chocolate shakes for breakfast each morning.

I am eating about 4 times a day.  I have found that the cream of chicken soup (watered down) does well in my new tummy.  I have also discovered ONE flavor of Chobani that I can get down.  It's the 100 calorie bite pack of caramel/pineapple.  This has 8 grams of protein... perfect!  The other yogurt that I like is the Danon Light and Fit, pineapple/coconut.  These have only 80 calories, and 5 grams of protein.   (The taste is significantly better than the Chobani)

I have lost about a pound a day since I've been home, crazy!

Below you will see a picture of the worst bruise I have from my surgery/hospital stay.... ha ha ha it's from some crazy nurse poking around in my arm trying to place an IV!  I have very little soreness from just one of my six incisions.  Other than that, all is good!

I'm glad to be home, glad I had this done, and look forward to feeling even better and getting more energy soon!

The test again!!

Well, I got up at 6 this morning, had them wrap up my PICC line so I could shower.  I dried my hair, and put my makeup on.

I asked my nurse about wearing normal clothes, because I am pretty confident I will go home today!  She said I had to wear my gowns down to X Ray, but then depending on how it looked, when I came back up, I could get dressed.

Well, went down, got the "cleaning fluid"  LOL to drink, and stood, waiting for the Dr. to come in.  Well this was a woman Dr. and she was NOT very kind looking.  I took a sip before she got there, we turned on the screen..... and.... it was already in the bottom of my new stomach!!!!  I took another sip, and you could see it sitting at the top of my stomach again for a bit, then it started to go down.  It was not going down as well as it could have been, but it did fine. 

So.... up to the 5th floor I went again... and got dressed...... it didn't even take me 30 minutes to have my bags all packed.  Now just to wait to hear from the Dr.  then I could start the liquid diet, and if it all sits well.... I can go home!!

Well, that was at 10 am.  Dr. Naik didn't show up in my room until 3:30!  Grrrrrrrrrrr!  He told me I would NOT being going home today.  He said I could start the liquid diet, but that he wanted me to stay throughout the night to make sure everything was ok.  He said as long as it went alright, he would let me go "first thing" in the morning.  I asked him what time "first thing" was.  He said 10 or so..... I said no... how about 8?  He said ok :)  So, as sad as I am to be here away from my family...just one more night!

Below is a picture of me with my first "meal" in a week!  The beef broth was AMAZING to me.  The Jell-O didn't sit so well, but the pudding did fine :)

One week since surgery!

Well, it has been one week, and I am home finally!!!!  I got out of there just before 9 am. 

I didn't sleep very well last night, got two inmates moved in across the hall from me sometime around midnight.  So, nurses were busy, as were the four guards that had to accompany them. 

I plan to rest and enjoy my daughter today.  It's so nice to be here to hold her while she naps.  I think she missed me a little bit too!

I had some watered down cream of chicken soup (minus the chicken) for lunch and dinner.  It seems to be going well.  I mixed half/half my sugar free grape drink with the grape frost Isopure to help me get in the protein I need.

Hope I do better tomorrow.

Hope all of you are doing well on your health journey today!

Oh, by the way... since the beginning, I have now lost 40 lbs!  :)

Day 5 Post Op - Sunday

Well today has been good.  I had some wonderful visitors that came to offer me comfort that all will be well tomorrow.

I went downstairs again with my husband and daughters, that was nice.  I felt a bit better, even put some makeup on my face!

I continue to do well with the ice chips, been eating more throughout the day today to see how this new stomach of mine is feeling.

I feel very positive about tomorrow morning.  Just need to try to sleep.....

Saturday in the hospital

What a BORING day.  Same ol' same ol'  Nurses changing IV bags/bottles.  Last night they started giving me some nutrition now that I have a PICC line in.  My Dr. said I have to get something in me so that I can heal.  You can see in my picture, my regular saline, and my "steak in a bottle".  So, after 4 days of nothing but saline, I now get my steak... and even some milk (lipids) tonight :)  Oh yay!  

On a good note, however, I did get permission to walk anywhere in the hospital, and outside!  since I showered again this morning, and had some great visitors I enjoyed my time out of my room, but I was pretty worn out for the remainder of the day.  

I continue to walk laps around the floor and see all of the nurses, everyone knows me pretty well now.  

Strange thing today.... night is the worst... it's really hard to sleep. 

Day 3 Post Op - FRIDAY!!!

Well here it is!  FRIDAY!!  Time for me to take my "test" again.

I took a shower last night, so I feel a little more normal, and am looking forward to getting some liquids in me so I can go home!!!

Well,


Transport came to get me again, just a little after 8.  I went down to X-Ray, which was hoppin today!  I was first on the list though, so in I went!  They brought a Dr. in to look at my scan.  I took the first sip, he had me turn, take another sip, then turn back, then he asked me just to dry swallow.  Well, it didn't sound so good, so I looked at the screen.  He showed me how there was now a tiny tiny tiny little trickle of fluid now going down into my new stomach..... good thing was there were no leaks!  Bad thing.... well... I figured my nurse would again be telling me I failed.

Sure enough, I got back upstairs to the cold 5th floor, and waited to see my Dr.  He didn't come until late in the afternoon, and told me that I have to stay through the weekend, and re-do the test on Monday.  WHAT?????!!!!  This was supposed to be an overnight stay, and here we are looking at at least a 6 day stay.  ugghhhhhhhhhh

My 2 year old keeps asking me if I'm "coming" with them every night when they leave.... this is NOT what I thought I signed up for... but.... we all know that there are risks.

Day 2 Post Op

Well, here I still am.  My family came to visit last night, and will come again tonight. 

Nothing really new to report, I walk a couple laps around the hall a few times a day, so I've decided I don't want to wear those ugly green SED things that squeeze my legs all hours of the day and night.  They are still giving me two Heparin injections every day to assist with avoiding blood clots. 

I actually felt hungry for a little while today, but I think that is just because 5 out of 5 commercials on TV show food!  RIDICULOUS!!! 

I've been allowed to have some ice chips if I want... not sure I see much point in it, but I did eat 3 or 4 of them, nothing else at all to eat or drink.

BORED out of my mind here, so I just sleep a lot!

As you can see, my older kids just love coming to visit!  :)

Day 1 Post Op

Well, first thing this morning transport showed up to take me down to X Ray for my Upper GI.  There was another lady in front of me, so while I was waiting for her to get done, I did what any other nosy woman would do, and watched through the door window at her scan.  I could see the fluid traveling down through her new stomach.  What they are normally looking for when doing this scan on us patients to ensure that there are no leaks from the stapling/sealing process. 

Next, it was my turn, I walked into the room, stood in front of the machine and got ready to drink the nasty barium stuff.  Well, this fluid was different than the white chalky kind I drank years ago.  This was clear, and I'm pretty certain that it tastes just like some sort of cleaning fluid .... YUCK!!!!  The good thing was, I didn't have to drink more than two sips. 

They have a Dr. in the room to watch the scan.  He asked me to take a sip, I did.  I waited and waited for 12 hours when he finally came in to talk to me.  He told me that according to the scan, none of the fluid was going through.  He thought this was probably from all of the swelling inside, afterall, I had 3 surgeries in 1, and he had thrown away 3/4 of my stomach, and it wasn't very happy about that.  He thought that if we could wait a couple more days, and re-check on Friday, all would be better.

So, here I sit.... or lay! :)

Surgery Day!!!

Well, here it is FINALLY!  We arrived at the hospital just before our 7 o'clock appointed time.  They took me right back to pre-op and we got the process going.  After doing all the routine who are you and why are you here things, they wrapped my legs/feet, and started my IV.  Dr. Naik came in just after 9, and then they wheeled me down the hall, and sent my husband the other way to wait. 

By 1pm I was on the fifth floor, in my room.  Dr. Naik had talked with my husband and told him all went well.  I had the sleeve done, as well as a hiatal hernia repair, and got rid of my stone ridden gall bladder. 

I was so nauseated, it was ridiculous, but I never did actually vomit.  They were great at staying on top of that!  They let me know that I would not be able to have anything to eat or drink until the next day, after my Upper GI.  That was fine with me, you see... as I said... I was nauseated!!

Everyone always says walk walk walk after surgery, so I did just that.  I walked a lap around the floor. 

Sleeping lots and lots!

Countdown!!!!

Well, I made it! I check in tomorrow morning at 7!! I've lost 10 of the 14 pounds that the surgeon was wanting, and he gave the go ahead! 
It has not been easy the past few days, I've wanted food so badly, but soon, I'll be able to taste things other than eggs, cheese, and protein drinks! I'm very excited....my husband, not so much. 

I'm posting a couple of pictures that show my diet restrictions/plan that I got from Kaiser to help guide us through the next phase in this journey.  I'm so grateful to be here, the night before :)

Pre-Registration - check!

The process did take 1 1/2 hrs, and I followed their advice of not taking children with you.... VERY good idea.  That would have been terrible! 

Anyway, that being said.  The process was fairly easy, just time consuming.  They verified all of my information, got my ID and Insurance card copied, asked about my copay which is $500.00/day.  I should only be in the hospital overnight.  They gave me the option to pay at that time, or when I check in.  Thought that was nice.  I mean, what if I back out?!  JUST KIDDING!  I won't!!

I'm getting more and more excited about this whole thing!  I know how hard it is going to be, and I welcome the challenges that lie ahead. 

I got a nifty little breathing tube thing to practice my breathing on... weird... I can't even come close to how they want me to be, that is HARD!  I guess that's why I have all weekend to practice :)  It's times like this I wish I would have kept up with all the singing I used to do, it sure helps with breathing!!

They also gave me a special soap to bathe with, and they must think I'm pretty dirty, because they said I have to shower on Monday night AND on Tuesday morning.  No hair products, no makeup, and NO nail polish!!  What??!! (well to be honest, she said as long as my two pointer fingers just have clear on them, I'll be ok)  LOL  I asked about fake eyelashes... but she said that with the ointment they put in my eyes, and the fact they will be taping my eyes shut, they might not make it through the surgery too well :)  Guess maybe this is why I stopped having mine done a month or so ago, right?!  ;)

My husband can't stand to talk about any of this right now, says his stomach just gets in knots at the thought of it...... silly man!  Doesn't he know he should focus on the hottie he's going to have in the next year or two?!  Of course, it's not that he doesn't think I'm quite something now... just sayin.... lol

Other than the lack of my cooking in the house recently I'm not sure that my children even realize that it's coming up so quickly.  Oh well, that's teenagers for ya!

I've only been getting 2-3 of these protein drinks in me each day, so I'm working on that today.  Going to make sure I get at least 3 in, maybe 4.  I want to make sure I have some strength built up!  Also, ordering my chewable vitamins finally today! I'm such a procrastinator!

Hope you are all winning your battles today!  We can do this :)

Day...who knows??.... Liquid diets stink!!!

Well, other than being so tired I literally can't walk straight, all is well :)

I'm getting more excited, going today for the pre-registration appointment.  I don't understand why we have to go in to do it in person, but oh well!

I have really come to despise the smell of food!  It seems that everyone has been buying the greasiest, yummiest food ever this week at work.  It's very hard to be sincerely happy about saying "oh yay! Let me go grab my chocolate protein drink"  or "I can chew on some ice!" 

This is truly one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I'll be glad to be through the surgery and onto the other side of things when I can at least have cream soups!!  (after the first few days). 

Emotionally I'm still not the nicest person around, but I'm also so tired that I don't really get too mad about anything either.  My kids might light how "laid-back" I seem right now :)

I'm only down 6 lbs since starting this liquid, and my goal is to be down another 8 by Tuesday morning.  Don't think it's going to happen, but oh well!

Hope you are all doing good with your goals today!

Day 9 - X ray, EKG, and blood work

Busy Busy Busy! On top of dealing with issues at home, I worked, left an hour early to head out to Kaiser.  Had the EKG done, the chest x-ray, and my pre-op blood work!  Now nothing left to do but weight in on Monday, and show up at the hospital on Tuesday :)

Busy days like that are great for times like these.  Keeps my mind off of what I can't have, and allows me to go on with what needs to be done.  I did sit down at Panda Express with family though, and had absolutely nothing.  Didn't really bother me.  REALLY wish the leftovers wouldn't have had to sit in the car on the way home though!  Oh the lovely smell of orange chicken!  I made it home, scrambled 2 eggs, and was good.  I remembered to get some sugar free Jell-O, so I enjoyed one of those.

I'm getting more and more excited, but I'm also getting more and more tired.  Can't wait to get this done, and recover so I can start all my other medications again and hopefully have more energy!

I gave away more clothes from my closet today.  That is a really good feeling, but still a little scary if I'm honest.  I've done that before, and then gained weight back and wished I hadn't :/

Hope all of you are winning your health battles today :)

Days 6 -8 Liquid - Doing fine!

Well, I made it through the full weekend!  Ate some veggies (non-starchy) each day, but didn't eat all the cheese or eggs that I could.  I feel MUCH better eating a small piece of fruit a few times (2-3) a day.  By small I mean 1/4 of an apple at a time, or 1/4 of a banana. 

My weight was 245.5 yesterday!  Definitely getting away from that 250!  Super exciting.  I'm finally almost down to where I was before my last child (242).  I'm feeling happy and excited about finally conquering this weight issue!

Emotionally I have not been the best person to be around.  Quite a bit more sensitive than usual, and definitely much "crankier" than normal.  Oh well!  Deal with it!  I'm working hard here!!  LOL :)

I'm not drinking more than 3 of the protein drinks a day.  Some days I only get 2 down, but I'm not too worried about that.

I haven't been able to test flavors of Isopure yet, but we will be getting some this weekend so I have them before I'm out of surgery.  My main concern for this today is that I get my vitamins ordered and here before surgery.  After you have a procedure like this done, you are unable to digest certain types of coatings on vitamins/pills.  I could not find any type of B1 supplement that would work, so I am going to the bariatric advantage site to order some.

I will be posting pictures soon so you can all watch along with me the changes that are happening, and will continue!

Day 5 Liquid - Did I hear someone say fruit????!!!

Well, I did make it to the support group on Wednesday night.  It was really great to learn more from people who have just recently gone through the surgery, as well as those who are years out!  Lots of great information.  The greatest thing I think I heard was from the dietician who joined us reminding me that it is ok to have a small piece of fruit 3 times a day when I drink my protein.  This helps us keep from getting that "dumb" brain syndrome.  Our body needs carbs to be able to function properly.  It was difficult for me to wrap my brain around, knowing I'm supposed to be all liquid.  It did help me get through the day at work much better though.  We can also eat non starchy vegetables if we need to.  Putting so much protein in our bodies causes some stomach/intestinal issues for some.  This is not fun, but with advice from others I think we all got plenty of ideas for feeling better.

On top of bloating issues right now, eating the fruit and a few veggies made me feel like I had gained 5 lbs.  The scale still shows a loss though.  I'm thankful for that!  I'm actually under 250!  This is the first time that I don't fear it will go back up to that number.  I'm done with this back and forth thing that I've done for so long.  Don't get me wrong, I still sit here a couple times a day wondering about this decision.  Then I remember.... I want to LIVE.  If I could do this on my own, I would have by now.  I need this help, and it's ok.  I will be successful with this tool to help me for a bit.

Hope everyone has a great day :)

Day 4 - Liquid

Well, I know I said I was doing ok yesterday, but looking back I'm not so sure.

You see, not eating food is not easy.  Especially when you have a family.  My teenagers were asking for dinner last night.  I told them both to go find something.  I bought several things pre-cooked for them to have this week because I figured it might be difficult for me to be in the kitchen cooking and then NOT eating.

Well, they dealt with it, and they aren't starving... HOWEVER........... I completely forgot about my 2 year old!  We played, I gave her a bath, we went for a walk... then when my husband got home after 8 pm, he asked me what she had eaten.... UH OH!!!!!  I hadn't even thought of feeding her!!  What kind of mother does that??!!!  This brain of mine had better learn to function for the next week and a half!  I feel so terrible, just can't believe I didn't think about it.  I guess I was drinking water, so was she... so.... well, I failed her yesterday.  It will not happen again though!

I was a bit hungry last night, but did just fine without anything.

Today, I'm not hungry at all, no headaches, things are much better.  Now if only it were just a 1 week liquid diet, I could be certain I can do it.... I still have over a week to go though... we'll see how I do day by day!

On a good note, it is nice to not need to unbutton my pants when running to the restroom!  I find it is very true what they say.... "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".  To be honest, these chocolate protein shakes taste fine.

I found that the cheapest ready made drinks were the best tasting to me, and have the required amount of protein, and those are the Premier Protein from Costco.

I'm going to call today to schedule my pre-op EKG, so I can do my labs at the same time!  It's getting a little more real every day!  I'm also going to go to the support group that meets weekly through Kaiser.  I've been once before, it will be nice to go get some more great advice from some of the successful people there :)

How I got here..... part 1

I say part 1, because I'm sure there will be more to follow. 

How I got here - obviously, I have a bit of a weight issue.  I have tried and been successful (and failed) at many different diet plans (weight watchers, medifast, Jenny Craig, etc.).  About 5 years ago, I was at my highest weight.  I haven't told many people the actual number..... but here it is ...... 317.  Wow, that is so sad to even type.  Well at that time, I was still a bit younger, had a bit of energy, no tiny kids at home... and was in a fairly happy place in my life.  I joined the gym, and got a personal trainer.  I also signed up and paid a fortune for a weight loss program that within a year went bankrupt.  However, I did get the kick start I needed to lose weight.  I truly had the greatest trainer, who now has his own business and has done very well for many people.  Within a year or two I had dropped down to 242 and was much healthier.  I had plenty of energy and was feeling better. 

Then I got lazy again.  Financial reasons and family changes kept me from getting to the gym and to my trainer.  I went right back into eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  Well, of course that didn't go so well.  Then, I got divorced and remarried :)  Well that will make anyone happy enough to eat!  If not, get pregnant too... that will for sure do it! 

So as the little one was approaching two, I knew I had to do something in order to LIVE.  With family members who have heart disease and diabetes, I knew that I needed to get my body in shape.  I have several children that I want to LIVE for, not just be here for.  I hope that makes sense to all of you. I need the pain I'm experiencing to go away, and I NEED to have energy! 

In January 2013 I started with thinking about the Lap Band.... well after going to a seminar, I quickly learned it wasn't for me.  Not only was the office filthy, the Dr. unkept, but they wanted to charge an additional $4000.00 above what my husbands insurance would pay.  No thanks!

So, I was then referred through Kaiser to their bariatric program and attended the orientation.  Great information from that first classroom experience.  I signed up to begin the classes that following Tuesday, which began my 12 week prep work!  

..... if there is to be a part 2, I'd better stop there for now :) 

Day 3 - Liquid

Well, today has started better than the last two, had a shake for breakfast, now I'm having one for lunch, along with a cheese stick.  I'm not nearly as hungry anymore, and I don't have much of a headache either!  Yay!

I did drink a Crystal Light Energy this morning though, because I really struggled with the fatigue yesterday.

On top of having this crazy diet to follow, I am no longer on any of my medications which make me even more tired.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Fibromyalgia.  I also have high blood pressure, but I'm planning on that going away once some of this weight is gone! I am unable to exercise at the moment due to a back injury from a car accident late last year, so I'm a bit of a mess :/  Don't feel bad for me though!  Things are definitely looking up.  I am trying to believe that some of this back pain/leg pain will go away with the weight loss also!

Yesterday I had a scrambled egg for dinner, today, I think I'll have some broth.  LOL sounds funny to think of those as meals... but I hope it works.  I want to be in the best shape possible for the surgeon.  Apparently this liquid diet allows the liver to shrink down so it is easier to operate on the stomach.

Here's to another day going by and getting closer!

It begins..... 2 week liquid diet!

Well hi there to everyone.  Some of you may know me, some of you may not.  Either way, most of you don't know about what I have been doing, and what I'm about to do. 

I have my Gastric Sleeve surgery scheduled for Monday, July 2, 2013.  I made the decision last fall after failing AGAIN to lose the weight.  I have thought about it for years.  In January I went to my first appointment at Kaiser, and was referred to the program.  After going to twelve weeks of classes, and learning A LOT, I was referred to the surgeon which took another 2-3 weeks.  Well, that was last Tuesday.  He asked that I try to lose an additional 14 lbs. before the surgery date (I'd already lost 26).  He also said that within that <3weeks I do 2 weeks of his liquid diet.  So, my diet starting yesterday, consists of just protein shakes, water, crystal light, sugar free Jell-O, broth, and then one egg and one cheese stick a day.  Whoooo Hooooo!  Right?!  NOOOOOOOOOOO.  It is HARD!!  I've heard the first 3 days are the worst though, so I'm hanging in there :)