Still on track....

Well here I am again!  Lots of things the same, lots of things different.

Let's see, I guess I will begin with the basics:

Food - Still drink Costco's Premier Protein for breakfast each day.

Lunch varies.... protein protein protein is the key... cottage cheese, sliced deli meat, fish, chicken.

I still cannot do cheese or eggs.  They just hurt... kind of figure this is going to be a lifelong issue.  I'm fine with that.  We really don't need dairy in our diets anyway!

Dinner - I have found that I can eat a larger quantity now (about 3/4 cup).  Of course the key is... EAT SLOWLY!!!!  I don't always do this, then I'm in pain and paying for it later.

I made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Cooked large meals on both occasions for my family.  Ate a little tiny bit of each thing I wanted.  For the most part it went well..... for the most part.  :)

I ate some "pink fluff"  LOL that is what we call it... cottage cheese, strawberry gelatin, crushed pineapple, cool whip, and mini marshmallows.  Well... although it went fine at Thanksgiving, it didn't go so well at Christmas.  I'm not sure if it was the marshmallows (I didn't eat them the first time) or if I had just eaten too much.  What I do know is that I felt what others have been talking about.  A LOT of pain, and I was running to the restroom trying to keep it down.  This did not go so well, and I will NOT be doing that again!

I finally did enter "Onederland" on November 20th, and am currently at 189.5!! 

I finally made it back to see my surgeon, who wants me to repeat another upper GI so we can see how the "blockage" issue is going.  He said I should be able to eat and drink more at a time than I am.  Well, those of you whom know me... we'll see if I really get around to doing that.  :)  I feel like I can eat fine now.  My only concern is my lack of energy and loss of muscle.  I really want to start working out again, but between my back issues and my exhaustion I am REALLY struggling.

Fun things these days:  I don't recognize myself in photos!  Honestly... my husband took the below picture of my daughter and I, and moments later handed me my phone... I literally pulled my head back in shock at what I was seeing.. or who?? was I seeing??  

I still find it amazing that I have knuckles... hahahaha!  I hadn't seen them in years!

I am wearing a size 16 very comfortably.  Still struggling to keep my pants up at work most days.  I just can't see spending more money on clothes if the sizes are going to continue to change.  

The one thing that I struggle with is my vitamins.  I am very very deficient in Iron.  I will be seeing the nutritionist about this soon.  I am so very tired all of the time.  I remember one of the things I had always heard was the amount of energy I would find once the weight started falling off.  Well, this has NOT been the case for me.  I feel like I'm walking around in a fog nearly all day every day.  I know I have other medical issues that cause chronic fatigue also, I just need to get a grip on all of the different concerns I have and get moving forward!

I hope that all of you are doing well, and are gaining some info from me in regards to my ongoing struggle.  Here is to a new year to improve our health!!
  

Slow but sure

Well I once again apologize for the delay in updating.  Things here are moving along.  I feel fine, and continue to lose weight.  I'm not losing as quickly as I thought I would.  I am currently waiting to enter "ONE"derland.  Last night the scale said 200.5 lbs.  so I haven't lost a lot since I last posted.  I went weeks without losing anything, and then suddenly I'd see a 4 or 6 lb. loss, it's strange.  I just try to keep my protein in and continue to work on my water intake.  I can get about 1 1/2 bottles down a day at this point which is HUGE compared to the beginning!

I still drink my premier protein for breakfast, and then usually have a small piece of fish or chicken for lunch, or some cottage cheese with pears or peaches for lunch.  Dinner varies, but I try to make sure whatever I eat, that it is tasty!  I have found that I'm not hungry most of the time at all!  I really am learning finally how to understand the difference between head hunger and actual physical hunger.  This is wonderful for me, because I hear others talk about it at group and I've been waiting to experience it myself.. so I'm happy to be learning more along this journey. 

We went to Disneyland a few weeks ago.  It was nice to walk around easier, and get on the rides easier without worrying if I would fit!  Honestly... c'mon people... I used to always ask before getting in lines at amusement parks if I would fit on the ride.  We have all been there when someone has been asked to get off, and I never wanted it to be me, so I just never even tried.  When the older kids were younger, I would just stand and wait and watch them have fun all day with their dad.  Sometimes, I would really want to go, so as I said, I would ask the workers if they thought I would fit before getting in line.  I was never once told "no" and I never once didn't fit, but oh, I worried, A LOT!  I will never forget the first trip we took to Disneyland and we went on splash mountain.  Well, all of you know that you are lucky enough to have a camera flash in your face as you are headed down in the "splash" part of the mountain.  After you get of the ride, and run over to look at the screens to see how your picture turned out, and decide if you want to purchase it.. so exciting, right?  Well not if you or your children were sitting behind me!  You wouldn't be able to see anything but an arm... which is what happened to my poor Isabel.  if we didn't see that arm we never would have even known she was there.  It was so sad, and depressing, and embarrassing for me.  After that, I never rode in any seat other than the very back.  I don't know if I will ever forget that picture.  Well, this time was much different.  Do you know that I never even tried to get on the teacups with Isabel because I didn't think I would fit?  That poor girl never got to ride those teacups until this year when we all fit just fine!  I'm so grateful for the new "life" I am learning to live.

We also spent some time in San Diego since I last posted.  Below is the first picture I've had taken by strangers that I'm not embarrassed to show.  It's an amazing feeling to feel that even though I am still very overweight, I'm so much more accepted in society.  We had so much fun that weekend, and did lots and lots of walking!

I have learned to stay away from sugar.  COMPLETELY!  It's just not a good idea, we don't need it, and quite frankly, my body hates it!  My dear husband purchased some "no sugar added" Dreyer's ice cream for me hoping that I could eat it.  Well, of course, I had to try it (for his sake, right?!).  Well, that didn't go well!  AT ALL!  Don't get me wrong, it tasted wonderful, but within minutes I felt miserable, and could not keep my eyes open!  It's one of the strangest sensations, but honestly... I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I was miserable, and asleep.  Well, if that wasn't my lesson learned, just a few nights ago I had a small, VERY small handful of dry Lucky Charms cereal... same consequences.  So, needless to say, no more sugar for me!  It's just not worth it!

I try to stick with just protein for the most part.  The fruit that I can eat helps me get some carbs in.  I was excited to find Fiber One cottage cheese this week.  I have had some twice, the taste is a bit different, but I think worth it for me because I need that extra fiber :)

Hair loss - it is real, and it is drastic.  It is much more than I thought it would be, and I continue to lose every day.  It started getting really bad about a month ago, and hasn't slowed down.  My hair is VERY thin.  Oh well!  Just one of those things.  It will grow back!

I am still not using any of my other medications for my RA or Fibro.  I have learned that the Enbrel injections hurt MUCH worse now that there isn't as much fat in the top of my thighs!  The other medication is Methotrexate which caused hair loss... well we all know I don't need help with that right now.. so no thanks! 

I'm very happy with the decision I made to do this, and I'm pleased with my journey so far.  I look forward to living more life, and hope that all of you feel the same.  There is so much out there for us!!

Here are a few pictures.....obviously I wasn't too happy he was taking this first one...also pictured here was me on the mall train with Brooklyn... I've NEVER been on that train... I was amazed I got on.. but I did, and look at how happy she was to have me there!  So worth it :)

Surprising "skinny" facts

I have discovered a few things that have really amazed me lately -

1- I don't have eyeliner below my eyes anymore.  I credit this to not having such a chubby face.... my cheeks don't shove up so far to leave that mark below where it should be!

2- For the same reason - I don't have as much "sleep" in my eyes anymore.  Ever!  It's crazy!

3 - Knees are painful!  I don't know if all of you "skinny" people have this problem, but when I try to sleep on my side at night, my bony knees touch eachother and it hurts!  Ouch!  I have to cross my leg over and onto the bed to avoid the pain.  Weird.


Those are just a few of the little things I have noticed lately.  It's a little odd.  On the fun side, you wouldn't believe what I did for the first time in at least 15 years! ..... listen up....

There I was, at Kern Radiology for a CT Scan on my back (from accident last year).  They made sure I had filled out all the paperwork properly, then started to show me to the dressing room.  I am always prepared for this... I always ask for 2 gowns... one for the front, and one for the back.  Those of you who may not have weight issues may not be aware, but you see, those of us who are bigger know that one gown will not cover all of us.  We always need 2, one to put on like they ask, then the other, like a "robe" to cover our backside.  Well, that was what I was waiting for the other day.  But what happened was absolute insanity.... she handed me a pair of pants!  WHAT???!!! Pants?  who knew?!  Well, she did.  She gave me the pants, and one gown.  hmmmmm I thought about saying something, but I thought, well, I'll try it, I guess you never know... and I sure didn't know.  They fit!  They slipped on easily, and I even had to tie the waist!  Craziness!!  It was wonderful.  Strange still, yes.  But wonderful! 

I have not been losing huge amounts of weight, but I am down to 213-215.  I haven't been this small is so many years, I can't even remember when.  I am enjoying each step of this journey, and look forward to being able to exercise and really get myself into the kind of physical condition I need to be in to live my life to it's fullest.  I do not have any regrets at all. 

I know I have mentioned my favorite yogurt, so I am attaching a picture for all of you just in case you want to try it :) 

I hope all of you are doing well in your journeys.  Remember to find the joy and fun in all aspects of the path you are on.  Smiling and laughing burns calories!

Pants falling down!

Hi there all!  Sorry for the long delay in updating!  I actually had several posts waiting, but I'm going to try to just write it all in one. 

Things are going well.  I am able to eat scrambled egg now (almost a whole one!)  However, cottage cheese still sits so heavy, I'd rather eat other things that don't cause discomfort instead.  I have discovered the BEST thing to help me get in protein.... get ready..... make notes.... Danon Fit & Light Greek Yogurt Blends...Toasted Coconut Vanilla.  THE BEST. PERIOD.  80 calories, 7 gr sugar, and 12gr protein.  Best part you might ask??  It is so smooth!  It's like eating ice cream!!  Very very much my favorite treat right now!!!   Enjoy.. all of you!  Honestly, you must try this :)

I have finally seen more loss on the scale, and I can safely say that I am never going to see 220 again!  Along with my bracelets and ring, my pants just can't stay up any longer.  I tried, but had to keep folding over the waist band throughout the day.  Time to go ahead and get some new cheap jeans, until I get to the next size.  It's just so odd for me, and very difficult to see myself in a different light.  I was noticing the top of my thighs last night, and I could see that they are thinner, and my knee cap more noticeable.  This may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but to those of us whose knees and ankles have been buried by fat for years.... it is a big deal ;)

I have still not had the energy to begin a real exercise program yet, and my back/sciatic pain does not help in that effort.  I'm still working on getting this going.  I am concerned about all this skin and flab that I am just beginning to get, and I don't want it to look terrible. 

I have continued to attend the Kaiser support group.  It is so wonderful to be with others who are just beginning their journey, as well as those that have been successful for years.  I learn a lot each week, it helps keep me on track and positive.  I had begun to really worry about my own success.  I have seen others who sabotage themselves by not following the plan.  I just have to remember that it is up to me each day to eat what is best, and in appropriate portion sizes.  You see, the thing is, some things can be eaten,(cheese puffs) and will just "slip" down through our sleeve... and we wouldn't even get full, so you could eat lots of it.... but no no no.....if I am still working on getting all the fluids in that I need every day, I would never have room for anything like that.

Of course, part of the reason that I don't struggle as much as others is that I do still have a bit of a complication with the "blockage" issue.  I KNOW when I'm full.  Others don't have that sensation always, so they simply need to measure their portions.

So... a couple of fun things..... I no longer have 4 chins!!  only 2, and some sagging skin!  Also, as you will see below ( I know, not the best picture) but this sweater is a size large............. yes everyone... just an "L" on the tag.... no "x's" in front of it!!!  This just amazed me!  I couldn't believe it when I tried it on!  Fun Fun Fun!

Two fun things!

My bracelets were falling off of my wrist at work the other day!  I kind of wondered, because while shopping with Isabel this past week, I could actually try on "normal" sized bracelets!  Crazy!!

Also... my ring size has gone from a 10 to an 8!  So... while the scale may not show high numbers, things are going in the right direction.

Whoo hoooo!  Thankful for little things today :)

5 weeks after surgery....

Well I have made it this far... and things are going just fine.  My energy level is starting to pick up, whether it be from my medication, or finally coming out the of sedation from surgery, I'm VERY grateful! 

Food - Not really worth trying new things, usually just causes discomfort and pain.  I'm happy with my yogurt, protein drinks, and soups.  I've tried fish, even tuna just doesn't sit very well.  I've also learned that eating things like that make me super tired!  I still struggle with getting all of my fluids in, but it is getting easier.  I get 1- 1/2 bottles of water down and a protein drink... so with the melted ice and popsicles throughout the day, I get 35-40 oz.  Of course I'm supposed to get at least 64... but I'm working on it!

Exercise - Not happening right now... too tired and in too much pain from other issues (RA and Fibro)

Weight Loss - I really haven't lost more weight, the scale shows a lower number, then a higher number so I'm ignoring it.  Everyone says I'm looking great and getting smaller.. so I'll just go with that for now!

fyi - ice water goes down great, and I can drink more when it's ice cold :)

Hope things are going well for all of you and your health challenges. 

Goal for this week is to get at least 2 days of exercise in! 

Also - if anyone has a secret to firming up the "waddle" that I am developing from this weight loss?  I need some help!

Thanks for all of the support!  Talk to you all soon! Oh... and if you are coming here from my Facebook page - I don't put up a link every time I post... you might see others if you look back :)

Lunch time

Well, I thought I would let you guys see what my lunch has looked like the past two days.  We normally would not eat any type of carbs, but these are fiber select wheat thins, and when you only get protein in....you need fiber, so this helps.